It’s amazing the number of funny team names that have stood the test of time. Some of them are so entertaining and silly, that you’ll be amazed by the sheer ludicrousness that some teams call themselves!
It’s one thing to think of something quirky to call your team, and it’s something totally different to deliberately think of something so outlandish that no one gets why you would want to call yourselves that. If you sit to compile a list of funny team names, it’ll probably never end. Nevertheless, here’s our list of which we think are the funniest ones. They’ve (unfortunately) been listed in alphabetical order, not in order of how ridiculous they are.
*This article in no way intends to hurt anyone’s sentiments. It is purely for entertainment purposes. The images used are merely representative, and are the reproductions of the author’s imagination. They are NOT the official mascots or emblems of any of the teams mentioned herein.
Amherst College Lord Jeffs
Field Marshall Jeffery Amherst, a war veteran, was whom the school was named after. Someone needs to explain the point of naming every team member a Lord Jeff (and in case of females, a Lady Jeff).
Atlanta Thrashers
This is definitely a name that instills trepidation in the minds of opponents. If only it wasn’t named after a bird that measures a measly 25 cm. Sigh!
Bad Axe Hatchets
Confused. Are you guys axes or hatchets? Whichever you are, if you’re bad, then you’re not very good, are you?
Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms
No, this is not the name of a kindergarten ballet class. It is in fact the name of the football team at Blooming Prairie High School. Awesome!
Bolton Wanderers
Losing can’t be an option for those who obviously have mastered the art.
Braintree Town
You’d think having the word ‘brain’ in the name of the town would help them come up with a better name. Nope!
Brevard County Manatees
If you’ve seen a manatee or at least a picture, you’ll see how adorably harmless they look. Is that what this baseball team was aiming to be portrayed as?
Butternut Midgets
Not sure if it’s politically correct to have such a team name.
Cairo Syrupmakers
This high school has named its football team the ‘syrupmakers’ to pay homage to Cairo, which was home to the plant that produced Roddenberry’s syrup. In 1986, ESPN thought ‘syrupmakers’ was a brilliant name for a sports team. Hmmm. Well, in 2013 it isn’t. Oh BTW, the boys on sports teams are called ‘makers’ and the girls are called ‘maids’.
Cardozo Clerks
The naming of this team has something to do with Cardozo being a Justice in the Supreme Court. But actually using ‘clerks’ as a team name seems unnecessary, doesn’t it?
Casper Ghosts
They’ve made it too easy for opponents to call themselves things like Ghostbusters and the like. Yup, that’s what we need now. A team called The Ferocious Ghostbusters!
Centralia Orphans
The basketball team got this tragic name during a game in which they were forced to wear mismatched uniforms due to shortage of funds. It still doesn’t justify why it couldn’t be changed when they did.
Chicago Sky
Here, there and everywhere!
Colorado Crush
Crush meaning the act of violently compressing something? Wouldn’t Crush’ers’ make more sense then?
Columbia College Fighting Koalas
“The Fighting Koalas concept is to give each athlete the tools and knowledge to achieve personal bests in the sport,…” – The official Fighting Koalas website.
Whatever they say, one simply cannot picture something as cuddly as a little koala fighting.
F.C. KooTeePee
The person who finds out what KooTeePee means will be the… oh I see you don’t care. Hmm. Neither do we.
Fighting Missionaries
Here’s an oxymoron if there ever was one. You can’t picture someone in a team called ‘missionaries’ fighting. So someone needs to tell them to change it if they want to be taken seriously.
Fotballaget Fart
Need we say more?
Frankfort Hot Dogs
This name gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘ate them for breakfast’. Too easy for the opponents if you ask us.
Hiroshima Toyo Carp
Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a ridiculous name just so they can use an English word in it. Just in case you were wondering, toyo is not a type of carp. It’s the name of the team’s sponsor. So if it wasn’t for Toyo, they’d just be a team of baseball playing, oily, freshwater fish, that let’s face it, no one is afraid of.
Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters
The members of this Japanese baseball team fight only ham. Nothing else matters.
Houston Texans
This team name has taken the level of blandness, laziness, and unimaginative behavior to a level no one can surpass.
Jordan Beetdiggers
Beet diggers dig beet. Athletes compete in athletic events. Who’s gonna break this to them?
Key School Obezags
Obezags is an anagram of ‘gazebos’. An online tour of the school shows that the campus has 3 gazebos. Impeccable logic!
King Faisal Babies
Babies! Yes, BABIES! That’s what this football team is called. There’s just too much astonishment to say anything further.
Lansing Lugnuts
Way too weird to write anything about.
Las Vegas Wranglers
Nope. They don’t herd cattle. They play hockey. If you’re trying to find a relationship between that and the fact that they’re from Las Vegas, good luck.
Mars Area Fighting Planets
Aaahahahhahahahahaha!
Minnesota Wild
Wild what? Wild as in the adjective? Meaning the players in the ice hockey team are cavemen? Or wild as in the noun? Meaning…wait…that doesn’t make sense either.
Montreal Alouettes
Pronounced ah-loo-ett, here’s another team named after an extremely non-threatening bird – a lark. If this Canadian football team thought Frenching a name up would make them seem ferocious, boy did they get it wrong.
New Berlin Pretzels
Everyone run! The weird-shaped bread team is about to get you!
Oakland Athletics
Nope! It’s not a typo. They call themselves ‘athletics’. Not athletes. Hey! Don’t shoot the messenger!
Orlando Predators
A name as vague as their supposed violent tendencies.
Peoria Prancers
What an absolutely masculine name for an all-male hockey team. If only more teams would take to calling themselves such names. If only…
Presbyterian College Blue Hose
Apart from sounding dirty, this name again, much like another one below has no meaning or imagination. Lazy lazy lazy!
Point Pleasant Big Blacks
Again, not sure if it’s politically correct to have such a team name.
Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes
This has GOT to be one of the funniest team names ever. And for all those wondering if their mascot is actually an artichoke, YES IT IS! A pretty mean looking one at that. So, that’s how they do it: they scare their opposition with their mean-eyed, perennial thistle of a mascot!
Sidney Lanier Poets
This football team rhymes its opponents into defeat.
Sydney Swans
Quite apt, if you’re in water or…wearing tutus..doing a ballet recital…not playing football.
St. Louis College of Pharmacy Eutectic
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word ‘eutectic’ as of an alloy or solution: having the lowest melting point possible. The only reason the college athletics team came up with this name is probably to prove their vocabulary skills, along with the fact that they’re all going to be super-rich, prescription handlers after they graduate.
Teutopolis Wooden Shoes
All one can imagine a team with this name doing is clobbering someone. But apparently that’s not what they do. What or who can someone blame such an unimaginative name on? Sigh!
Thailand Tobacco Monopoly
This is the name of a Thai soccer club. The name is based on a government-owned enterprise that had the ‘monopoly’ in the manufacture and distribution of tobacco. Don’t bother trying to figure this one out.
The Georgetown Hoyas
The hoya plant is a sub-tropical plant which is native to Asian nations like China, India, Malaysia, etc. But that’s not what these hoyas stand for. These hoyas are named after a Greek/Latin phrase that has means ‘What Rocks!’, as per their official website.
The Poca High Dots
Bah! Scottsdale’s Fighting Artichokes have some serious competition here. DOTS! The mascot is a brawny DOT. That’s definitely enough to scare the bejesus out of anyone, let alone a sports team.
The Portland Wet Sox
This team has secret ammo that they keep handy just in case their talent on the field doesn’t help; their stinky wet socks!
Tillamook Cheesemakers
First we had the syrupmakers, then the beetdiggers, now the cheesemakers. Maybe they should all consider alternate professions, what say?
Toronto Maple Leafs
OK first of all, the plural of leaf is leaves not leafs. Second of all, if your ice hockey team is named after something as flimsy as a leaf, the opposition may not be very intimidated.
UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs
Banana slugs. We rest our case.
University of Idaho Vandals
This team is named after a considerably formidable tribe of barbarians…in Europe. *Trying to find the connection between that little tidbit and the naming of a college athletics team in Idaho. None established!*
Webster University Gorloks
A Gorlok is an imaginary creature that won the honor of being the school mascot by, get this, winning a contest at the school. Its physical appearance: face of a St. Bernard, paws of a cheetah and horns of a buffalo. WHAT were they thinking??
Wikki Tourists of Bauchi
This is a Nigerian football team. Once you get over the fact that they call themselves tourists, what cannot fail to befuddle you is the meaning and the necessity of the word ‘Wikki’ in it. What does Wikki mean? Is it a secret adjective meant to frighten opponents? Or is it used just to perplex them because the meaning is so obviously unapparent?
Yuma Criminals
Here’s a truly intimidating name. If the word ‘criminals’ doesn’t scare the opponents, the history might do the job. The school’s former premises were a state prison. Assemblies were held in the prison hospital and classes, in the cell block.
